Ay si senor ... por favor ... aff gonnae no dae that again

Afghani-no-dae-that mate!!

Well that was a death worse than fate … but ahh wuz literally
… ‘saved by the bell’ … so to speak.
Well the ring tone on my darling young Yorkshire woman wife’s mobile phone actually.
We wuz driving doon tae Asda’s when her mobey rang … it was her pal Sandra wantin’ tae meet-up furra wee chin-wag and a coffee.

… brilliant
… aff ye yo-hoh then hen
So my sexy other half hitched up her mini-skirt; sprayed some perfume and jumped oot o’ the Hali-coater and intae Sandra’s.
Lots of burning rubber as the wheels span and Sandra drove away in her usual customary enthusiastic style.
“Jist as well ye dinnae live in Saudi Arabia hen … !”
Obviously in that frightfully civilsed shining example of peaceful Islamic society’s embracing modernity …
… well women being women
… well in Saudi if ye are a wummin …
… ye are no allowed tae drive a Hali-coater
… nivir mind actually hold a driving licence babe.

So with my sexy other half away tae chew the fat with Sandra (and all the other girlie stuff that women dae oan a Saturday) … In am free to wallop my fingers aff this here keyboard and pen another wee reflection on that stage-managed pish that we shall now refer to as:
… The Chuckle Brothers … parte dos!
Yea yea …
… aye ahh no …
That was yon Northern Irish comedy duo …
i.e. Martin McGuiness and the good reverend Doctor Iain Paisley.

So our Brit version is oor wee Gordy-gordo (a.k.a. Jesssie Broon) the current Prime Minister Herr Brown;
Lunkheid Cameron (he of restaurant / bar trashing dinner club fame);
And last but not least the third lunkheid …
‘Vayas a la mierde’ senor Nick Clegg.
Picture three eejits heids oan wan body.
Onywayes … they honestly think that the Brit telly watching public actually find this ‘love-in’ entertaining.
“Ohh I agree with Nick …!”
(simpering spineless smile to camera)
“Ohh I agree with Gordon!!”
(another wee glaekit grin at the telly monitor)

For fucksake when are these spineless corrupt bastards gonnae take their cocks out of each other’s mouths??
I mean I know that Peter Mandelson is a faggot … so Jessie Broon is used to it by now.
But I personally filled fifteen vomit buckets that night whilst watching the three party leaders
… acting like randy dugs on the street
… all sniffing each others arses
… and licking each others balls
… like horny dogs do when you take ‘em oot schhh-pat-zeeerin-gayin’ for ‘walkies’.

Chhhhhhh-ay-zooooss-Kreeehh-stee senor … por favor!!

My French pal Jacques (a.k.a. JAKEY)
… Cheese-eating surrender monkey to you pal!!
Is I have previously intimated …
… well
… mucho sarcástico hombre