Foxy Mulder crash-lands in Leeds, W.Yorkshire ... oooops

Catholic Irish Alcoholic (i.e. a frightfully scary looking American chappie who looks remarkably similar to Fox Mulder’s nemesis on a certain dull 1990’s cop show)

Yessss-ssss!
As Mr. Paxman the news-anchor says a la Bay Bay thhhh-fay de Laundrays.
i.e. Auntie Beeb old chap.
Embarrassing … yes Cynthia auld girl … wish it was actually darr-leeng.

Ahh don’t know … the things you do oan a sunny afternoon in Yorkshire to entertain yersel whilst yer missus is out for a wee chin-wag wae Sandra and the girlies ehh?

I was at a loose end so kept driving in the general direction of Leeds, West Yorkshire and I found myself in Hyde Park / Headingley (Byres Road / Hillhead / Hyndland for the benefit o’ folks back hame ‘n’at).
You know what I mean …
… the intellectual Cream of our Youth
… student-bed-sit land of course
… for the benefit of our Septic cousin across the Pond
… picture late April in Spring Bank holidays in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
Ohh guid … that’s the ticket laddie (and lassies too! ;-) …)

Anyway … frightfully ‘waky’ st-yooo-dents ‘n’at!!!
OHHH dear how frightfully tedious I hear you retort
… you can’t be an anarchist pal … yer hair’s too long matey!!!

Onywayes oan wae the explanation / expll-eee-kaah-thh-feee-ohh-nay.

Yes
… I know a joke becomes dull
… when you have to explain / re-explain / quantify / give contextual details

… and become a fuckin’ walking insomnia cure (oan wheels preferably)
…the punch-line to these so-called hip-dudes / the New Kids oan th’Block / latest crop of bright-eyed bushy-tailed undergraduates
… to you and me!!
Thank fuck a certain
… New-Yorkino actriz / cantante
(singing dancing actress … to us Brits).
La senorita Lopez to you and me bud!!
You know her …
Used to be rahhh-tt trendy here in Yorkshire to sing J-Lo songs a few yesrs back.
“Ahhm still … ahh’m still Jenny from the Block!”
Yon sexy burd that made big arses sexy again

Ohhh …
As I said when you have to explain the punch-line of your joke
… to these slow-on-the-uptake Newbies
… well … theirs mahh tits are now spontaneously evaporating again.
That’s how bored I actually was Cynthia darling actual my fair lady.
By fuck … modern students … are such a bunch of tedious dreary cunts these days huh!!
Onywayes finding myself in Hyde Park and being a sunny Saturday afternoon …
… well I thought … naively that
… well we would
(Cockney accent again)
… have a laff innit mate!!
Yea … I know these brainy young cunts couldn’t
… fucking well laugh if you zapped five billion Volts into their politically-correct (i.e. Politically Naïve) inanimate corpses actually.
However dunderheid here tried!! (i.e. that’s me babe)
I know
… cynics amongst you will say … aw hey buddy …
… they are young they are supposed to be stupid and not very particularly well-versed in humour … but I did try Nigel old bean … believe me I did waste my lungs and vocal chords at least trying to be Doctor Frankenstein and zap electric currents through their empty-shells.

Why did I bother huh??